


Then Comes Marriage

by the_butler



Series: Prompts [29]
Category: DCU, Green Lantern - All Media Types, The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Aliens Made Them Do It, M/M, Prompt Fic, Weddings, two friends getting married five feet apart ‘cuz they’re not gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:42:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27280639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_butler/pseuds/the_butler
Summary: Hal forgot to read the mission files and now he was getting married. On an alien planet.
Relationships: Barry Allen & Hal Jordan, Barry Allen/Hal Jordan
Series: Prompts [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1349839
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

They were getting married.

On an alien planet. 

The wedding band was already in full swing.

Hal looked to his left and saw an angry Flash giving him a death glare. The angry Flash was also in a flowing white gown, with flowers in his hair. The ethereal colors of the alien flowers set off Barry’s eyes, unfortunately they were lit up with a murderous gleam. Hal looked back into the hall, flanked by a congregation of alien life forms looking to the two of them with curiosity and wonder. He sighed. Why did this always happen to Hal?

*  
It happened like this: Hal had come back to Oa after back to back missions that left him not knowing which way was Sunday and he barely touched ground when high command hands him another mission folder. He barely even read the mission folder. All he remembered was Kilowog telling him to bring his best buddy and have the time of his life. Apparently an alliance pact was made between two mostly peaceful alien planets and a grand celebration was going to be thrown, with Hal representing the Green Lantern Corps. Fun was to be had. And he was commanded to bring his best buddy. So he flew back to Earth to pick up his best friend Barry Allen, also known as the Flash, and long story short they arrived at planet Althea just in time to find out that the marriage was off. Turned out, the alliance pact was going to be a marriage between the princess of Althea to the minister of planet Zorg. Only, it turned out again, that the princess ran away with her beau before the ceremony could take place and the minister was left at the altar. It also meant that the alliance pact was in peril. And so everyone in the hall looked to Hal, being the official representative of the Green Lantern Corps.

“Er... maybe there’s another princess he could marry?”

The Althean queen looked meaningfully at Hal. He shrugged his shoulders and looked back at Barry, who shrugged his shoulders as well, and then he wished he’d read the mission folder on the way there. 

“Perhaps, as the Green Lantern Corps representative, you could, ah, take the place of our dear princess...”

“Oh no.”

“It would only be symbolic. You would not be beholden to the minister of Zorg.” The queen went on, and Hal looked to the menacing minister of Zorg, who nodded.

“Ah, no offense, but no.”

“Why?” The queen asked, though it was not a question but more a command.

“Um. Well. I’m already...” Hal wracked his brain, but couldn’t think of a feasible excuse. “I’m already married?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Yeah! Er. To this guy!” And here Hal grabbed Barry by the shoulder. “Yes. We’re already married.”

“What are you doing?” Whispered a panicked Barry.

“Just go along with it.” Hal had said out of the corner of his mouth. 

The queen stared at them for some time, and then nodded her head. “Then you would not find it remiss if you were to wed him again? He can take the place of the Zorgian minister. It is all entirely symbolic, you see.” She turned to the Zorgian party, who all nodded their agreement.

“What?” Hal shouted, and then in a more measured voice, “I’m sorry, my queen, but what?”

The queen turned back to look at Hal, and her gaze pierced him on the spot. “You are already married, yes?”

“Well, when I say married...”

“And you are both representatives of the Green Lantern Corps, are you not?”

“Well, when I said we were both representatives...”

“And does not the Green Lantern Corps represent truth and justice?”

“Well, when you put it like that...”

“So a marriage between the two of you, who are as you said, already married, could now take place to symbolize the peace between our two planets.”

Under the piercing stare of the Althean queen, and with peace in this galactic sector at the balance, Hal could only nod as Barry stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Good. The wedding will be in two hours.” She nodded at her handmaidens, who quickly separated Hal and Barry and shepherded them to two different rooms. 

*  
“I can’t believe you would say such a stupid thing!” Barry whispered angrily at him as they walked down the aisle. 

“Really? Then you must not know me that well.” Hal whispered back, strangely calm.

“I can’t believe I’m getting married! To you!”

“Relax, it’s all symbolic.”

Barry scowled, and Hal said out loud, “wedding jitters, you know?” And the people nearby laughed. Barry scowled harder. “Listen,” Hal whispered again, “if it makes it any better I’m also in a gown.”

They were both wearing white flowing gowns. They both had flowers in their hair. Apparently this was the Althean wedding attire. 

They reached the altar, where an extremely old Althean priest began to drone, in the Althean language, something about peace between nations symbolized by the union of two Green Lantern Corps representatives in holy matrimony, or at least that’s what Hal guessed. There were several ceremonies they had to go through, all the time looking at each other and holding hands. This meant Barry was glaring at him and trying to crush his hands at the same time. Extremely romantic, Hal thought wryly. 

After the third ritual, which had them symbolically giving each other golden keys, the fourth and last ritual was to begin. Hal looked apologetically to Barry, who was now at least a tiny bit resigned to all of it, judging by how the pressure in his hands was lessened. 

The high priest said something in old Althean, and the translator beside Barry said, “And now, for the seal of the union, a kiss to signify peace between our two nations.”

Barry blanched at the words, but Hal acted swiftly. If they were to get out of the place in one piece he had to act decisively. Before Barry could react further Hal reached for his friend and kissed him in the mouth. Surprised, Barry froze on the spot. The whole congregation gasped. At the end of the kiss, Hal straightened up and moved back, only to hear the translator whisper to them, “a kiss on the hand! The hand!”

Hal looked blankly at Barry, who was red in the face. “Oh.”

And then Hal took Barry’s hands and kissed them. He looked up to see a teary eyed Barry glare at him, and then Barry took Hal’s hands and kissed them as well. The whole congregation erupted in shouts and and applause. The wedding was officially over. The translator sighed, saying, “oh, tears of joy! A blessed sign!”

Hal looked back at Barry, who did have tears in his eyes, but they weren’t of joy. He winced. 

*

All the way back to the Watchtower Barry wouldn’t even look at him, and gave him the cold shoulder. After the ceremony was over, Barry fled their room and locked him out of it. Left with nothing to do, Hal instead partied with the Althean and Zorgian delegates, and fun was finally had. And when he, tipsy with Althean wine, went back to the room, it was unlocked, and Barry was already asleep on his bed. Hal thought Barry was over the mortification of being married to his best friend. Only when morning came, Barry wouldn’t look at him much less speak to him. The only words he said where, “take me home.” And Hal did. 

Getting to the Watchtower, Barry sped to his room before Hal could even say a thing. With a sigh, Hal flew to the quarters and gently knocked on Barry’s door. 

“Hey, buddy, I think we need to talk.”

“Go away Hal.” Came the muffled voice of Barry.

Hal sighed again, and then punched in the code for Barry’s room. The door slid to the side and Hal walked in. Barry was on his bed, hugging a pillow. Hal walked towards him and hunched down before Barry.

“Hey, guy.”

“Get out.”

“Listen, I’m sorry, okay?”

Barry glared at him, and then looked to the side. “I can’t believe I’m married to you.”

Hal chuckled, and that earned him another glare. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was going to turn out like that.”

“You don’t seem to be very sorry.”

“Just think, what if I brought Kilowog with me instead?”

A beat, then a small chuckle from Barry. Hal smiled. “You’d probably marry him, huh?”

“Nah, I’d go with the Zorgian minister.”

They laughed together, and Barry hung his head. “Sorry. I was just so... embarrassed!”

“Yeah? Figured you were.”

“I’ve never even proposed to anyone and here I am, married!”

“If it makes any difference, I’m glad it was you.”

Barry looked back at Hal sharply, and Hal just smiled. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, if I had to be forcibly married to anyone on an alien planet, it’s gotta be you Bear.”

“Hm.” Barry said noncommittally. Hal raised an eyebrow.

“And you?”

“Ugh.” Barry rolled his eyes. “I guess I can stand getting forcibly married to you too.”

“Great. Husbands?”

“Don’t you dare tell anyone.”

“Yeah, okay. Husbands?” Hal asked again.

Barry nodded. “Husbands.”

*


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We got a problem.”
> 
> Hal said, a serious look on his face. A feeling of dread washed over Barry, who looked up from his sandwich.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to continue this one.

“We got a problem.”

Hal said, a serious look on his face. A feeling of dread washed over Barry, who looked up from his sandwich.

“Watcha mean?” Barry said with a mouthful of BLT. Hal sighed and then flopped down on the chair next to Barry. The Watchtower canteen was full of other heroes getting their lunches. Hal looked around, and then whispered, “finish your lunch and I’ll tell you about it in your room.”

Barry gulped, and then wrapped up what was left of his sandwich. “Let’s go right now, this sounds serious.”

It was serious. 

The Althean embassy sent a message to the Green Lantern main office at Oa. 

“Oh my gosh!” Barry exclaimed, and then started pacing the floor. “Did we mess up? Is there a war with Zorg? Jesus I knew your plan wouldn’t work...”

“Hush, Bear. It’s worse.”

“What? What’s worse than a war?”

“They sent a hologram.”

“A what?”

Hal grimaced, and then powered up his ring to produce a hologram. “They sent this.”

The hologram was a three-dimensional photo of the two of them kissing at the altar.

“What!” Barry exploded.

“Yeah.” Hal answered miserably. “They also sent a lovely bouquet of Althean flowers and a nice fruit basket.”

“What!” Barry shouted again, brain seemingly broken.

“You’re telling me, I had to explain to high command what it was about.” Hal answered, a little tense.

“We gotta... we gotta stop this. Hal stop this!” Barry said, pleading, as he looked to Hal with wide eyes full of dread. 

“Can’t, bear. The rest of the GLs know about it. They wouldn’t stop teasing me about it let me tell you.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh no is right.”

“What if... what if John knows? Or... or...” Barry squeezed his eyes shut. “What if Guy hears about it?”

Another sigh from Hal, and Barry opened his eyes and saw Hal give him a commiserating look. “Of course they know.”

“NO! Guy’s a blabbermouth he’ll tell the whole league!”

“That’s why I flew here ahead to tell you the news.”

Barry got down to his knees before Hal. “Please, Hal, do something about this!” He whined.

Hal sighed a third time, and laid a hand on Barry’s shoulder. “I’m sorry pal, but I don’t know what I can do right now.”

Just then, a knock came on the Barry’s door. They both looked towards it as someone punched in the code to Barry’s room which could only mean one person was behind the door. 

The door opened to Batman.

“I’m interrupting something.” He said, not a question but a statement.

“No!” Both Barry and Hal exclaimed at the same time.

“Good. You are both wanted in the meeting room.” And then he gave them both a look, and then left.

Barry and Hal looked to each other. Barry looked close to tears while Hal looked defeated. 

“Come on, then, let’s get this over with.” Hal said, resigned, as he got up from the bed. A small whine escaped Barry’s lips before he got up himself and followed in Hal’s footsteps. 

*

“Care to explain what this is?”

It was a multi colored cube, seemingly small on the white surface of the meeting room desk. Batman sat with his hands steepled in front of his face, while Superman stood behind him with an amiable look on his face. The rest of the founding members were seated around the table, while Hal and Barry stood before them as if on trial.

“It’s an Althean hologram message.” Hal answered confidently, even if he didn’t feel at all confident. Barry stood behind him, on edge. 

Everyone looked surprised at his answer. Superman spoke up. “Oh, didn’t the both of you go there on a mission some weeks ago?”

“Yes.” Hal answered with a poker face. The room was filled with murmurs. Batman regarded the two with a cold stare, amplified by the white lenses. 

“Should we be worried.”

“No. It’s a personal communication device.”

“I see.”

“Oh, it came with something by the way.” Superman cheerfully interjected, “It was some flowers I think and a basket full of fruits.”

“Really.” Hal deadpanned.

“It’s being monitored by J’onn, as it is an alien life form.” Batman said.

“Which is overkill, really, it’s just flowers and a fruit basket.” Superman added, and it deepened Batman’s scowl. 

“Going back to the subject at hand.” Batman said, with a tone of finality as if to say whatever Superman said was a trivial matter, “this cube is addressed to the two of you...”

“As well as the flowers and the fruit basket.” Superman cut in.

“This was addressed to the two of you.” Batman said again as if Superman didn’t say anything. “Given that it was from the Althean embassy I believe we should all know the contents of...”

“NO!” Barry shouted.

Everyone in the room turned to look at him, and he hid behind Hal. “Jesus, Bar.” Hal whispered.

“Why.” Batman asked, tone not changing.

“It’s personal.” Hal said at the same time Barry exclaimed, “it’s embarrassing!”

The room was silent, until Hawkgirl said, “now I want to know the contents of that cube.”

“I believe Green Lantern said it’s personal.” Wonder Woman said in reply.

“Noted, but the Flash said it’s embarrassing, and that’s interesting.” Hawkgirl answered with a smirk.

“Please, just let us have that cube!” Barry pleaded to Batman amidst the rising susurrus of voices.

Batman stared at Hal and Barry for some time, making them squirm, until he said, “this may be of some importance. It came to the Watchtower. We should all be party to it’s content.”

“No...” Barry whimpered.

“Get it together Bar.” Hal whispered again, but in a louder voice said, “it was addressed to me and the Flash.”

“Noted. The cube will be in your possession after we all see its content.” Batman answered.

Batman pressed on the flat surface of the cube, and it started shimmering. Then it let out a glow, and then the hologram appeared. It was of Hal and Barry, decked out in Althean wedding attire with flowers in their hair, kissing each other’s hands. The hologram looped and looped, showing the two grinning and kissing hands again and again to the sound of cheers. Everyone in the room was silent.

“Ugh, fine, we got married on Althea to seal a peace treaty, happy?” Hal said in angry voice.

“Married?” Superman and Wonder Woman asked, while Hawkgirl started laughing. Aquaman was staring at them, bored, while Batman leveled them with an even stare. 

“Yes. It’s symbolic!” Barry added, hoping it would lessen the embarrassment. It did not.

“Congratulations!” Superman said, at the same time Wonder Woman started clapping and saying “felicitations on your recent nuptials.”

“Married!” Hawkgirl shrieked before she started laughing again.

“It’s symbolic.” Hal repeated, but to no avail. Superman flew to them and started patting them on the shoulders and congratulating them. Wonder Woman also went to them to say her congratulations.

“I think we’re finished here. Congratulations. Took you a while to figure things out.” Aquaman said before leaving the room. 

“What?” Barry exclaimed, but Aquaman had already closed the doors. 

*

**Author's Note:**

> Two dudes, sitting in a hot tub, five feet apart ‘coz they’re not gay.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed that crack fic! Husbands? Husbands.


End file.
